Harold the Barrel

Lyrics:

[NEWS]
A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared
Early this morning
Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat
Suitably camouflaged
They saw him catch a train
(Too, too, too, too, too, too)

[MAN-IN-THE-STREET]
"Father of three its disgusting"
"Such a horrible thing to do"
Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all for tea
"He can't go far", "He can't go far"
"Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
"He can't go far"

[MAN-ON-THE-SPOT]
I'm standing in a doorway on the main square
Tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry people

[MAN-ON-THE-COUNCIL]
"More than we've ever seen
- Had to tighten up security"

[NARRATOR]
Over to the scene at the town hall
The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

[LORD MAYOR]
"Man of suspicion, you can't last long, the British Public is on our side"

[BRITISH PUBLIC]
"You can't last long", "You can't last long"
"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
"You can't last long"

[HAROLD]
If I was many miles from here
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge
With the whole world below

[NARRATOR]
Up at the window
Look at the window

[MR. PLOD]
"We can help you"

[PLOD'S Chorus]
"We can help you"

[MR. PLOD]
"We're all your friends if you come on down and talk to us son"

[HAROLD]
You must be joking
Take a running jump

[NARRATOR]
The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
Getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the site
(Run, run, run, run)

[NARRATOR]
Up on the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request

[67-YR-OLD MRS. BARREL]
"Come off the ledge - if your father were alive he'd be very, very, very upset"
"Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
"Your shirt's all dirty and there's a man here from the B.B.C."
"You just can't jump"

[MR. PLOD]
"We can help you"

[PLOD'S Chorus]
"We can help you"

[MR. PLOD]
"We're all your friends if you come on down and talk to us Harry"

[HAROLD]
You must be joking
Take a running jump